Warning: This post has more I’s in it than a Donald Trump debate transcript. Excuse me (and I), but I reckon a personal question asks a personal answer, so here it is: Why did I buy a house in the Cotswolds? If you follow my wildly sporadic posts, you may recall that last summer I fell in love. With a house. I was already in love with a place and a people, but the house was a pipe dream.
Now it is real. And its name, after the family that built it in the 1740s, is Lovedays House. So corny but I love it.
With Frexit (Frances + exit), my marriage ended and I left California to return to New York. One door closed and another opened…in England. ICYMI, see Lordy Mercy I’ve Done It Now.
I had always wanted to experience living abroad. And as fond as I am of many parts of the world, England called to me. I love nearly all things English, even the weather (I know). I love its proximity to Europe. And I love the English and their sense of humor. I feel at home there.
The want, however, comes from something deeper. I love houses and all to do with them. Always have. That I have Blenheim Palace taste and a Little House on the Prairie budget is a bore but not a block. The idea of doing up a house–apartment, room, doll house, shoe box–has always blown my skirt up.
The heart wants what the heart wants. I bought a house in the Cotswolds because I just plain wanted to. It felt right. I would enjoy the process and the people I met along the way. I knew that it would, though I cringe at the cliché, bring me joy. I’ve done enough work on myself to trust those feelings.
And yet.
It is said that one should not make any major decisions for a year after a major loss. And divorce, whatever else it is, is a loss. It left memories good and bad, and it left a few scars.
But the sale of Bee Cottage a few years earlier left a hole. Bee was always there for me and always healing. That house and garden were a place that both embraced and challenged me. It always beckoned to try something new (hey dark shiny tiny turquoise guestroom!) and forgiving when it whiffed (helloooo purple pleated lampshades).
Tell me about your house and I’ll tell you about your life. Our living spaces are both canvasses to create upon and mirrors to reflect us. As we make our living spaces, they make us, too, by showing us who we are. With the sale of Bee, I lost my sensei.
The California house, impressive as it was, never wholly took me in. I had made my peace with it, but in retrospect it was inevitable that house/husband/and I would have to move on together, or I would move on alone. Which I did.
Spiritually, I needed to create a new relationship to my now self and my now life, and the best way I knew to do that was with a house. I did it with Bee Cottage in East Hampton, and I reckoned I could do it again in England. To feel connected to and supported by your living space is a creative, dynamic, and empowering way to live, and being able to create that at the scale of an entire house is a gift and a privilege. It is also a risk. But hey, if you want guarantees, buy a kitchen appliance.
By the way, between the time I left California in October 2022 and I closed on Lovedays House in September 2023, it was 11 months and 22 days. Close enough.
Now another year later here I am with a house, having spent all kind’a time, money and angst, and I’m still happy about it. Work has finally begun on the interiors, and more on that later. Yes of course it could still turn out a huge gigantic WTF-was-I-thinking disaster. But I guess the worst that can happen is I sell it. … Actually, not true: A lot could go wrong. But I’m still with it, and we’ll see. I hope you will come along with me, and we’ll see together.
P.S. OH! In the Cotswolds Painting Workshop, one spot just became available. It’s Sept 26-Oct 1, so if you are a last-minute type of gal (or guy) come join us! Click here for info.
NEXT:
A False Start and Finding the House
Hire a Designer or go It Alone?
Decorating Notes: No Such Thing as a House That Needs No Work
Nothing Like Reinventing Yourself in Your 60s
Decorating Notes: Choices and Changes
How You Live in Your House Is How You Live in Your Life
Hi Frances,
I so enjoy reading about your “next” adventure(s)!
Much happiness in your new home, and I look forward to seeing updates of your creativity!
I admire your wanderlust, and joy of life.
Thank you Dianne, how lovely of you. Glad to have you along xF
Your a brave women. Good luck , best wishes and a fun adventure.
Oh how I love your too infrequent posts. I live vicariously through your exciting and creative life.
Aww Nancy, thank you. Something tells me you do some un-vicarious living, too 😉 F
Beautiful post and so excited to ride along this journey beside and with you!
Oh my darlin’ sister, we are ridin’ shotgun on each other’s journeys for LIFE. Love you, F
Oh my, I could be you.
Upcoming is a major loss and will be thinking about “what next, in my 60;’s?”. Interiors, retail, and gardening have been my passion and career. But my true love is England, here now for 2 blissful months! Your home looks divine and cannot wait to learn more, as I have admired you and your aesthetic from afar, for years. I dream of moving to England, it feeds my soul. So, please do not let a lot of time lapse until we hear from you again….I long to join your journey!
Oh Debra, I am sorry for your loss but happy for your devotion to what you love and your time in a place you love. Keep in touch. Perhaps our paths will cross one day IRL, and it is never too late to begin again. Love to you, Frances
You write so beautifully and clearly and I am sure mirror many of your followers and admirers thoughts also. You are certainly missed in our environs but hope springs eternal for a future visit . YOU GO GIRL and keep us informed with ALL YOUR DETAILS of Lovesday House.
PS I do my best work in my bathrobe too!
Thank you darling Lawrie, this means the world…. and re working in bathrobe: My mother used to say “Once I get dressed I can’t get a thing done!” That always cracked me up. And now I am she. LOL. Love to you my friend.
all wonderful, Frannie
Thank you my precious friend. I miss you. xox
Love you Frances . I’m in London entire December.. are you ?
Keep going Frances ❤️
I saved that post from last year, hoping you would come back with more, and here you are! I love everything about the Bee Cottage journey, and I hope Lovedays House brings us more to enjoy. Cheers to the next chapter!
Oh! I am so excited that you are in England. I loved Bee Cottage and found your musings in the book very helpful. I am a Californian living in Devon and I can’t wait to see what you do here in England!
Fantastic! I am going to hang on your every post, your every word. I gave up my big place in Bucks County, PA pre-Covid and nestled into my jewel box apartment in NYC. Now at 73, I too am looking to jump the ocean for that last adventure. As a gardener and designer, England has always been my heaven…so thank you for the encouragement! Life IS risk and loving!!
I want to be you in my next life., And have 1/10 of your creativity, that would be heaven
LINDA, anyone reading this who knows you KNOWS YOU ARE CREATIVE, are you kidding me… Besides, we are all creative in our own ways. Some of them not good, like me with arithmetic, but I digress. YOU are beautiful and amazing in YOUR life. Love to you, F
I remember when you spoke at Decorative Arts Society in Newport Beach not long ago. I enjoyed every moment!
At that time I felt that a new house, a new life, and new horizons were in your future. England is where I feel at HOME too. Can’t wait to hear about your new adventures, whilst curled up, all day, in my nightgown. While no life is perfection, I admire your pluck in the face of misfortune. I expect Loveday to be ready for guests quicksticks. You’ve lived so many lives, and lived out some of my dreams. With the generous, and always humorous, advice from your mother you’ll create a beautiful, welcoming home. Like my Mom, yours probably sits on your shoulder and whispers in your ear. This winter when you’re wearing a bathrobe and earmuffs, you might want to keep her warm, but still handy, in a pocket, or a locket. Best wishes!
Oh Rachel, thank you for this. It has gone straight to my heart, and yes, you are right about Mama. Blessing and love to you. F
I look forward to following along with your witty and thoughtful posts about life moving along with you driving!
Thank you my dear friend.
I see another book in your future. Enjoy this journey it’s a labor of love and obviously a passion of yours. I can relate, but will never have this opportunity so do it for both of us.
Thank you Contessa. Love had many labors and something tells me you have found many yourself. Love to you, Frances
Dear Frances, I’ve been eagerly waiting, along with the others, to see what you do with Loveday’s House! Last year I did a blog post on your book, the Bee Cottage Story. I quote you extensively. You might like to reread your thoughts about Bee Cottage along with how your story expressed my own relationship with my home. Just click on my name to go there.
Dearest Cathy, Well you are just a total sweetheart, and a clever and creative one at that. Thank you for that lovely, lovely tribute in your wonderful blog. I’ll be. It makes my day to hear from a kindred spirit – so many here – but a shout-out such as yours is special indeed. Thank you. x F
Dear Frances,
I do hope you’re contemplating a book on your Lovedays House adventure! From one of your many friends at St. Mark’s in the Valley, who still remember when you arrived in California as a breath of fresh air. You are missed!
Oh Freda, this is so thoughtful of you, and I am touched. Thank you. I remember my time and my friends there with such fondness and occasional longing, and you were and are a special spirit indeed. Go well my friend and fellow seeker. With love, Frances
Dear Frances, I just read your story at 3am in Venice where I am awake with jet lag. You continue to inspire me! I feel like most of the great things in my life have come from living plan B. I just love the purposeful, creative and exciting life you have carved out for yourself. Thanks for sharing it with us! Sending love, Allston
Dear Frances
I was in the Cotswolds during June this year. It is such a beautiful place. I am so glad you found your pretty corner of the world and I look forward to reading more of your adventure.
Best wishes Miss Glitteryone
Wonderful post, loved every word
“The heart wants what the heart wants.” Truth if I ever heard it.
I love this for so many reasons, Frances, and it rings a bell in many ways. Painswick and England as a whole are lucky to have you. I so look forward to seeing the magic you weave through Lovedays, and Painswick, too!
Much love,
Merrill
Good for you! I’m loving watching from Instagram this journey, I would just beg for more pictures!
I have followed you since House Beautiful days and of course Bee Cottage. I certainly hope you write about the experience of redoing the home in the Cotswolds! A dream of mine!!!
Oh, how I love your writing – equal doses of witticism and wisdom. Your ability to share your journeys, tangents and all, gives me hope as I navigate this world.
I find myself screen-shooting paragraphs of your prose so that I can add them to my “inspiring quotes” file. My “what would Frances do” folder, if you will.
I am hopeful that the phrases at the end of the post are chapter headings(?) You speak for oh so many of us.
Hi Frances, Thank you for your inspirational post. I, too, love England (and the Cotswolds) and everything about it..especially the humor. I’m envious of your courage with Lovedays (a wonderful choice). If I were younger I would give it a try, but instead I look forward to following along as you bring your lovely home back to life. It looks like it is off to a great start… the garden table as your desk is perfect. Enjoy the process, with the people you meet, your garden and yes, especially the weather (I like it too). Best to you, Kathi Grant
I’m so happy for you. Life is too short to not take the chance-if offered- to be happy!
I can’t wait for the next installment!
I have missed your posts and I cried when Bee Cottage sold, having only read about it. Congratulations on your new home! I can’t wait to read more about it.
Thank you dear Susan. X
Dear Frances,
My introduction to you was at the DeYoung Museum, San Francisco, during our Bouquets to Art annual event. As you described your Bee Cottage journey and after reading your book, I was captured. Then following your life’s next chapters in New York, Santa Barbara and now the Cotswolds…
Thank you for sharing and being an inspiration as I move through loss, sell my Joseph Esherick tree house in Marin County and return to my Modern Farm in Kenwood, Cal. Something is on the horizon but I’m not certain what! Warmly, Vera
Dearest Vera, thank you for your kind words, and i am sorry you have had a loss. Blessings to you. Something is on the horizon indeed, and i look forward to hearing about it. Go gently. Grace and peace to you.
It is just wonderful that you are having another adventure which all of us can follow in your blithe writings, be they blog postings or books; and I love that your blog posts are far apart and seem to appear in our in-boxes at the very moment when we are thirsting for news of you! I am SO HAPPY for you! xoxoxoxoxxo
Oh Happy this is the sweetest thing ever. Thank you thank you. So glad you will be along for the ride. X frances
Frances, you are an inspiration to me and many others. I too love England and dream of a cottage there. For now I will follow along on your adventure and enjoy the ups and downs( hopefully there are none).
Looking forward to hearing and learning more about your cottage and village.
Dear Frances, What a pleasant surprise to open my email today and see your blog “waiting “ on me!!! After the love of my life passed, I too, at age 70, followed my heart and moved over 1500 miles away, from all family and friends. Scary, exciting but the right thing to do. 8 years later , I still marvel at the rightness.
Well, Carol, thank you for sharing this. Yours was a brave and bold move, and I’d like to hear more. Would it be all right if I reached out to you via email?
Oh Frances, I so related to your post and enjoyed it so much. I saw myself in many of tte same ongoing losses and gains. It gave me hope for continued change,and acceptance of my true loves and realities…. I have followed you for years and am so very happy for you ..your fortitude and light shine ! Thank you for touching my heart and hopes today ..
I love your writing your sense of style and your outlook on life
Thank you